ONLY THE LONELY
Natalie: Hey! Welcome to victim number three.
Nick: Are you sure?
Natalie: Not yet, but it sure looks that way.
Schanke: Could it be? Could it actually be we finally have a lead? Because the Captain's not the only one that's being catapulted into insanity by those Take Back the Night rallies outside the precinct.
Schanke: What's this world coming to is right when someone
not bad and not broke like Jill Fisher has to resort to a dating
service in the first place.
Natalie: Oh, come on, Schank, it's the nineties. Dating services, like frozen dinners, have their places. It's not necessarily a case of resorting to them. No, I haven't. Although I have...thought about it.
Schanke: You? That's ridiculous! You have so much more to offer than the average person.
Natalie: Please...it's not my intention to get into a discussion of my dating life, or lack thereof.
Schanke: For crying out loud. If I had known, I mean, Myra _lives_ for this stuff. Natalie: Oh no...help me. He's going to sic Myra the matchmaker on me. I'll end up married to his cousin in Mousejaw. Don't worry about me, Schank, I'll be fine. Anyway, who has time for dating?
Schanke: He does. What the hell's wrong with him?
Natalie: Beats me. Ask him. See ya. (She leaves.)
Schanke: What is wrong with you, anyway?
Nick: Uh, you heard the lady. Who's got the time?
Natalie: Happy what, to whom?
Grace: Uh, uh...you don't get off that easy.
Natalie: No escaping the creature from the birthday lagoon around here, I guess, huh? Oh, my..my favorite. A twinkie with candles. Now let me see...one, two, three.... Thirty. Yep, they're all there.
Eddie?: Make a wish.
Grace: But don't tell us, or else it won't come true.
Natalie: Don't worry, I don't think you could handle it.
Nick: Who's birthday?
Schanke: Nat's. Forensics threw her a bash.
Nick: Natalie's? Jeez, I completely forgot. They called me last week.
Schanke: Don't sweat it. The only reason I found out is I had to go down and get test results.
Nick: No. No, this is not good. I didn't even get her a card.
Natalie: What is it, Eddie? Natalie: Who is it and what happened?
Eddie: Not good. You're going to wish you'd celebrated your twenty-eighth birthday at Pizza Palace or something.
Eddie: They couldn't find any ID. People who saw him before the explosion said that-
Eddie: He was trying to stop a gang robbery. Someone tossed him a pipe bomb for his trouble. It's...it's a real mess. At least there's not much of a face to look at. (Eddie leaves and the phone rings)
Natalie: Saved by the bell....
Natalie: Who is it and what happened?
Natalie: Hi, honey, I'm home.
Natalie: Oh no, your nose. Ah, here, use this. I'm so
Roger: Don't worry about it. You probably have bigger things on your mind. Like...a hungry cat that's about ready to take revenge on your drapes as we speak?
Roger: Was that, by any chance...awkward?
Natalie: What? Oh, no. No, he's just...a friend. Just a friend.
Roger: Natalie? Maybe I could meet Sidney sometime? Maybe
I could...call him?
Natalie: He's in the book. Lambert. Sidney...Lambert.
Natalie (upon first sight of Nick): This isn't so bad. Not so bad at all.
Schanke: I never volunteer for anything.
Natalie: Perfect timing, Schanke.
Schanke: No..no, wait..wait a minute. Do I look like I eat cardboard and ride a treadmill? Huh? Do I..do I look like I have spots and..and a..and a tail? Don't do this to me, Natalie, this is..this is not right!
Natalie: Sorry, Schank, but you're the only guinea pig that we got. Now...this won't hurt a bit.
Schanke: Ow! One day you're slicing cake, the next day you're slicing me.
Natalie: What...what the hell...?
You...you were dead a minute ago. Who are you?!
Nick: You don't need to know.
Natalie: What are you?
Nick: Something very different from you.
Natalie: Ah, yes, I believe I'm wearing a formaldehyde- based scent today.
Natalie: I usually buy my lunch from a dispensing machine
and eat it by the warm glow of my computer screen.
Roger: You see, you do work to hard. You got to get out more. That's what summer's for.
Natalie: Yeah, it's been a while, all right. A while since I've spent any time in the sun.
Nick: I am a vampire.
Natalie: A vampire....
Natalie: You're so cold.
Nick: I'm dead.
Natalie: No. No, you're not. You're not dead.
Nick: Oh. Uh, I was listening. I was.
Schanke: From what remote satellite? By the way, how's that hole in the ozone layer doing? I mean, if I'm boring you, Nick, just tell me. Geez, I sound like Myra.
Nick: Nat, I just tried to page you.
Natalie: Roger..uh..it's okay, you don't have to leave, I mean, this is purely (Nick rests his hand protectively on her shoulder) w-work related.
Nick: I guess you don't think that's...a little too
familiar for a...first date, huh?
Natalie: Excuse me? I'm a big girl, in case you hadn't noticed.
Nick: Oh, no, no, no, I've noticed, I've noticed. I just, uh, happen to feel a little protective.
Nick: Yeah. Protective.
Natalie: Protective like towards...a sister, protective.
Nick: Yeah, like towards a sister, yeah.
Stonetree: All right, this is the last newspaper allowed in
this precinct while this case is open. In fact, if I find another
one, I will search out the culprit who brought it into this office,
and he or she will look forward to a...lifetime desk-job at parking
Schanke: How's that for an ultimatum?
Nick: Well, I don't know, Schanke. Parking Violations is beginning to look pretty good to me right now.
Natalie: Somewhere out there, there is a guy walking around
with some pretty heavy-duty scratches. At least we finally got a good
cell sample for comparison on the DNA work-up. What?
Grace: I forgot to get the fourth sample for the PCR boost you wanted for the Fischer DNA profile. Right here. Right between the eyes.
Natalie: That might not be such a bad idea. Wait a minute. Here, use this. It's Roger's blood. I was going to take it to the dry cleaners, but it probably won't come out anyway.
Nick: Well, have you forgiven me for ruining your
Natalie: I accepted your apology last night.
Nick: In letter only, or in spirit, too? Because, Nat, I can't tell by the way you're acting.
Natalie: I said...I forgive you. Nick: I-I know it was presumptuous of me to break into your house. I guess I took liberties with our friendship that I shouldn't have.
Natalie: Look. Please...Nick.
Nick: Would you just let me finish? I care about you Nat. I really do. I just want you to be happy. Last night I realized something.
Nick: That if I'm not careful, I'll get in the way of you and your happiness. I just want you to know that I..I..re..I really..think that it's a good idea that you're beginning to see someone. And...I'm tr..I'm truly happy for you. And, uh....well, I won't mess it up by interfering, or, uh, doubting your judgment.
Natalie: Well, I really appreciate that. Thanks.
Natalie: You've made yourself perfectly clear, all right? I..I just have a lot of work to do.
Natalie: You're testing me. To see
if I've forgotten.
Nick: I see you haven't.
Natalie: Oh, please, don't bother. It won't work. Maybe I'm just one of those people who they say can't be hypnotized. Or maybe I don't want to be.
Nick: And you're not afraid?
Natalie: Fear is based on ignorance. I'd rather try to understand. Understand who you are, and...what you are.
Nick: You are a unique woman.
Natalie: No, I'm a scientist.
Nick: Science won't help you to understand what I am or the hell of an existence I've locked myself into.
Natalie: What makes you think I can't help you?
Nick: Help me? Are you serious? No one can help me. My immortality is a curse, a fall from grace. Evil, is a metaphysical condition.
Natalie: You're not evil. You ended up on my examining table because you tried to help people. Also, your condition is a physical one.
Nick: I see. Your specialty. And how on earth do you think you can help this eight hundred year-old body...this incessant hunger for blood? This physical condition of mine.
Natalie: I don't know. Yet. But I am willing to try.
Nick: And what's the reward for you, Doctor? What could you possibly expect for in return?
Natalie: Solving a puzzle is its own reward for me.
Nick: Are you sure?
Natalie: Oh, yes.
Nick: Okay, uh, tell me everything you know about him. Did
she say where he worked?
Grace: She said he was an lawyer, but I've already called the provincial bar--no Roger Jameson.
Nick: How could she not tell anyone where she's going?
Grace: I don't know, she's been in such a strange mood lately.
Nick: I got to find her.
Nick: Don't. Don't get too close to
Natalie: You want to hurt me. Kill me.
Nick: No. But I might anyway.
Roger: I really wanted something between us, Natalie. But you never gave me a chance. You just didn't trust me!
Natalie: Nick? Nick!
Nick: Nat. Nat. It's okay. Look, it's me. No, no..it's okay. It's me.
Natalie: Well, I guess I'd better check on how that travel
agent is doing finding me the quintessential desert vacation fun
Nick: Natalie? Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?
Natalie: Yeah. Yeah, I think I do.
Schanke: Hey, hey! Natalie, Natalie, Natalie. I am so
glad you're still here. Listen, I know this may not be the best time,
but uh, well, Lionel is coming in here to the station, and I thought
Natalie: Oh, no. Oh, ho, ho, nonononono. That's my cue....
Schanke: Hey, wait! At least meet him-
Natalie: ....with my luck, he's related to aliens!
Schanke: I promised Myra!
Natalie: (On her way out) Forget it, Schank!