LaCroix (Monologue at beginning):
Life is a gift, as sweet as a ripe peach, as precious as a gilded jewel. I have never been able to understand the logic of willfully surrendering such a treasure. And what is there to gain? How dark can your existence be when compared to an eternal void? Unless, of course, you have faith that there is something beyond.
What do you see from where you stand? A bright light at the end of the tunnel? Is it a ray of hope? A glimmer of something better? Or will it burn you like the rising sun? Is that sound you're hearing the trumpeting of St. Peter's angels or the screams of Memnoch's tortured souls?
You can't answer that, can you? Because you will never know the answer, until after the deed is done. And is your faith really that strong?
I understand the need to move on. It is something that happens to us all, and your time has truly come. I also understand that with the beauty of this life, there comes pain and despair. No one is immune. But consider what you have in your hands before you give it up. Don't trade a treasure for an empty box.
Tracy: Psychiatrist. I'm guessing nobody saw this coming.
Nick: Not even one of her closest friends. I guess you never really know your friends, do you?
Tracy: No, I guess not.
Nick: Trace, do me a favor and finish here. I want to get Nat out of here.
(Nick walks over to Nat and leans over)
Nick: Nat? Come on, let's go.
Natalie: 'Do as I asked, not as I've done. Don't let yourself become empty.' The first time I've lost someone to suicide. The first time I've had a suicide note addressed to me. A night of firsts. You know, I think Dr. Laura Haynes in there, was right on the money when she pegged me as a kindred spirit.
Nick: Nat. She took her own life. She obviously had some pretty big problems.
Natalie: You think so? You know Nick, I use to think suicide was a sacrilege. But I'm not so sure anymore.
Nick: Nat. Don't talk like that.
Natalie: Why not? You've considered it yourself.
Natalie: Playing it a little close, aren't you?
Nick: Seconds to spare.
Natalie: So...we're feeling a little self-destructive. Nick will you talk to me, it's like you've been living in a shell!
Nick: All right. I lost an old friend the other day.
Natalie: How old?
Nick: Oh, two, three hundred years.
Natalie: Old friend takes on a whole new meaning with you. I'm sorry.
Natalie: (Getting the doll as Nick goes to put in on a sun covered pedestal) It's beautiful.
Nick: It was hers. Erica loved life more than anyone I'd ever known.
Natalie: How did she die?
Nick: Oh, she had this theory. When you stop contributing to life, when you become a burden, it's time to move on. (He sticks his hand in the sun)
Natalie: Suicide is never the answer.
Nick: Isn't it?
Nick: Nat, maybe you shouldn't do the workup on this case.
Natalie: You know, Laura never reached out to me in life for help. I owe her this much. To see that everything is properly done now that she's gone. I can handle it. But you know what I can't handle? I think that I understand her, and that scares me to death.
Reese: How's Natalie holding up?
Tracy: Not well. You know, I think a suicide note addressed to her was kind of a mean thing to do. Nick's staying with her. Anyway, there's no suggestion of foul play and everyone seems satisfied that Laura Haynes is a suicide, so....
Tracy: So, I was thinking of writing it up as such and maybe knocking off early for the night? Captain, I-I feel something coming on.
Reese: Okay. The flu is going around. Tell you what. Go home, get some rest, get in bed.... (There's a commotion nearby) What in the hell?
Dawkins: I'm not going. I'm not going back there. You can't take me back there.
Officer: Relax.... Relax!
Reese: What's this man's problem, officer?
Officer: Transfer, Captain. Dawkins. We're holding him for pick-up.
Reese: Dawkins, I want you to wait here quietly with these officers.
Dawkins: I'm not going back there.
Reese: You will settle down or I'll have you cuffed and shackled. Do you understand me?
Nick: Strange, isn't it? How something so personal becomes just another piece of evidence?
Natalie: Not for me. You know, when she and I would get together some years ago, we'd talk for hours. About our careers, professional gossip. We slowly came to realize that we never really talked about ourselves. And you know why? Because there was nothing to tell. Our personal lives were non-existent. That was a bet of a depressing discovery. And we uh, sort of lost touch after that. Her leaving me the note and her journal. She meant me to learn from her mistakes. It's my wake-up call, Nick. Time to get a life.
Nick: You've got one. It's not empty.
Natalie: Not now. Six years ago. April 14.
Nick: What's that?
Natalie: The day they brought you in.
Natalie: Who is it and what happened? Natalie (Unzipping the bag): This isn't so bad. It's not so bad at all.
Natalie: (On the phone) Are you sure you didn't make a mistake? Well, I mean, this guy looks like he just barely cut himself shaving this morning.
Eddie: They couldn't find any ID. People who saw him before the explosion said that-
Eddie: He was trying to stop a gang robbery. Someone tossed him a pipe bomb for his trouble. It's...it's a real mess. At least there's not much of a face to look at.
(Nick sits up, Natalie drops the phone.)
Natalie: What the...? You...you were dead a minute ago. Who are you?!
Nick: You don't need to know.
(Nick goes to the freezer and gets a unity of blood)
Natalie: What are you?
Nick: Something very different from you.
Natalie (Unzipping the bag): This isn't so bad. It's not so bad at all.
Natalie: (On the phone) Are you sure you didn't make a mistake? Well, I mean, this guy looks like he just barely cut himself shaving this morning.
Natalie: My life changed that day. I don't want to end up like Laura, Nick.
Nick: I won't let you.
Nat: Well, then it's simple. You just have to love me as much as I love you.
LaCroix (monologue): Love. It warps our senses, twists our souls...can take us past hope, past cure, past help. I know about love: it's suffering, it's anguish, it's pain. Heaven makes means to kill our joy with love. And yet we must have it, at any cost. But are you so enamored that you'll overlook your love of life? And you do love it. I've seen you smell the sea, gaze at the stars at night. Are you willing to sacrifice one mistress for another? Look into your heart and tell me that you're willing to make the choice.
Nick: I can't. You know I can't.
Natalie: I've been wrong about a lot of things in my life, but I'm not wrong about this, about I feel from you. I'm asking for an end, Nick. For a resolution. I'm not willing to go on like this. We can be together.
Nick: I can't damned you into becoming what I am.
Natalie: There is a way. I have faith in you, and whatever follows.
Nick: Alyssa. Alyssa...? Alyssa, it's time to wake. Alyssa?
LaCroix: Something wrong, Nicholas? Your love nest reeks of death. Oh well, nevermind. It's a subtle art, practice will make perfect. It was your first attempt after all.
Nick: LaCroix, help me please.
LaCroix: I cannot, Nicholas. I told you--don't take too much.
Nick: Natalie, it's just to much to ask.
Reese: Everybody...hold up. Hold your fire.
Dawkins: I'll kill her if you make me go back. I'll kill her. I'll kill her.
(Dawkins leaves the room with a hostage.
Clerk: Don't shoot. Please, don't shoot.
(Shots are heard, Reese and the others find the clerk.)
Reese: You two--with me. (Reese and them follow.)
Hostage: Please, don't hurt me. Please.
(Dawkins intercepts an officer in the hall, pushing them to the side)
Dawkins: I'm not going back! (He flees and Reese follows.)
Reese: Stay with them. Let's go.
(Dawkins cuts the electric breakers.) Reese: What the hell? (the lights go out) Check the power. He's gotta be in here somewhere.
Nick: Whether I bring you across or not, either way it could be a death sentence.
Natalie: A lonely existence like Laura's is a death sentence. With you, there's at least hope. It's partly my decision, Nick, and I'm not afraid to try.
Nick: (After his cell phone rings) Knight. I'm on my way. (He hangs up) There's a situation at the precinct. A guy with a gun. Nat, I....
Natalie: It's all right. We'll talk later.
Dawkins: Kill me now. I'm not going back. Kill me! I'm not going back. I can't go back. Kill me now.
Reese: All right, man all the exits. Let's see if we can get a negotiator in here. And I want a swat team, just in case.
Nick: (Arriving) Where is he?
Reese: He took a weapon off of an officer. I guess he's hold up in the locker room. I'm going to let him make the first move.
Nick: Who is he?
Reese: Dilbert Dawkins. He's a transfer we're booking through.
Nick: I know him. I've arrested him.
Dawkins: I'm not going back there. I'm not going back.
Nick: (Entering the area) Dawkins? Dawkins, it's okay. It's me. Detective Knight.
(Nick doesn't know Tracy is hiding in the background.)
Dawkins: Knight? You'd better tell them to get a big body bag. Cause that's the only way I'm going outta here.
Nick: Dawkins, listen to me. You really don't want to die, do you? And I don't want you to hurt anyone. You wouldn't want to be responsible for that. Now would you?
Dawkins: I'm telling you. (He puts the gun to his head.) I'm not goin' back.
Nick: Dawkins, listen to me.... *Point the gun down at the floor. Kneel down, and lay the gun very gently on the floor.*
Dawkins: On the floor....
(Dawkins was under Nick's influence, but then he sees Tracy in the background and snaps out of it.)
(Dawkins shoots at Nick, shoots several more times before Nick takes him out. Nick turns to Tracy, and she slides down to the floor, blood on the wall.
Nick: Tracy...Trace.... We need some help here! Tracy?
Tracy: You could have trusted me.
LaCroix: Haven't you tired of this incessant guilt? Hasn't it swayed your back and stooped your shoulders to the point of throwing it off? You insist on taking responsibility for the actions and emotions of those around you, when they alone are truly responsible. It is so foolish, it is so unnecessary...it's so mortal. And it must stop. This, and all else that has happened tonight should make that clear to you.
Doctor: Pupils fixed and dilated. No response. BP's 80 over 60. Let's get her out of here. Tell ER I gave her 100mg of Lanicane at 23:45.
Reese: Nick. Are you sure your okay?
Nick: Captain...I didn't know.
Reese: Nick...she made her own call on this one. You can't go telling yourself it was your fault. Get that out of your head, right now.
EMS: She took two bullets. Abdominal and there's a really bad head wound. I just can't say for sure right now.
Reese: They've done everything humanly possible. Now we just wait and see. The civilian review board wants to talk to you. I've managed to put them off till morning. Dawkins didn't make it. Your gonna' take some heat on this one, Nick. It could get pretty rough.
Nick: I know. I'm okay. She still has a fighting chance.
Reese: Oh yeah, she does. Yeah. But...look, if she doesn't pull through. I'm just saying, I know what it's like to loose a partner.
Reese: Nothing on earth can ripe you apart like that. Hell, Nick, you know that. You lost Schanke.
Reese: There is life after this, when you get through. Remember that. I'm here if you need help, okay? I gotta go.
Nick: I could have gone instead.
Natalie: You know that's not true.
Nick: If I hadn't caught him...if he hadn't...if he'd gotten away....
Natalie: Nick, you can't blame yourself, you can't.
Nick: (Turning toward her, vamped out) If she dies, it's my fault.
Natalie: How do you know that that's what she wants? And why is it so easy to consider bringing her across, and so impossible to consider bringing me?
LaCroix: (Packing) Good evening, Nicholas.
Nick: You're leaving?
LaCroix: It's time...for both of us. We have come full circle in this life.
Nick: LaCroix, I'm in trouble.
LaCroix: Yes, I know. Your partner, is she...?
Nick: No, but her chances aren't good.
LaCroix: Nicholas, don't you see? You have overstayed your welcome. The pain that you're causing your mortal friends is no longer acceptable to them. Those that do survive will not allow your relationship with you to continue in the way that it was. They will demand change, and you will be compromised. One way or another.
Nick: Even if I wanted to leave, I couldn't. Too many loose ends to tie up.
LaCroix: I've seen you leave looser.
Nick: I just can't walk away. Natalie needs me. I have to be here for Tracy.
LaCroix: Nicholas, the time has come. I will be at your loft tonight for your decision. And then, I am leaving, with, or without you.
LaCroix (Monologue): For all the things that we are there is a price to be paid. Love may be tasted, but never savored. In our darkest moments we may envy mortality, but we should never aspire to it. Guilt is a poison. And staying past our time is death. But it need not be. If we truly care for a mortal, truly love one, then we must go. Isn't that something that you taught me?
Nick: If you bring her over, she becomes a killer. Cold-blooded. Her purity annihilated.
LaCroix: Would you rather see this beauty wither to old age, and die?
Nick: It is the beauty of her innocence that you love. And that you will kill with the first taste of her blood. If you truly love Fleur, LaCroix, you won't destroy that. You will not.
LaCroix: T'is a great irony, is it not? That such a cold still heart can feel such pain.
LaCroix: Leaving is the purest form of love.
Natalie: (Reading from Laura's journal) Everyone's pain is my problem, but mine is mine alone. I have solutions for all but none for myself. I have to stop and think, 'Where am I? What am I doing? I'm not coming, I'm going...I'm gone.'
New Cerk DJ: The subject tonight is your love-life. Are you happy, lonely, fulfilled, empty?
Caller: What happened to the Nightcrawler?
DJ: He said it was time to move on....
Natalie: So you were just going to leave? Nick: Did you really intend never to see me again? No explanations.
Nick: It's been better that way in the past.
Natalie: I had to find out from a desk sergeant. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? There are people here who care about you...who love and depend on you.
Janette: I thought it was best.
Nick: You were wrong.
Janette: Oh...Nicolas. I left because of you. Because of your quest for humanity. A vampire's heart must be cold. Immortality makes this so. Death is always around us, but we must never allow it touch us, so we cannot allow the emotion of loss to infect us. LaCroix knew this, and I agreed with him.
Janette: But you, after eight hundred years could no longer live without your humanity, and I began to wonder if you might be right. Eight hundred years is a long time to live with a cold heart.
Nick: Did you really intend never to see me again? No explanations.
DJ: I want to hear from all of you lonely hearts out there. I know there's a lot of you, so get on the phone and talk to me.
Natalie: (As Nick arrives back at his place) Tracy Vetter passed away twenty minutes ago.
Nick: LaCroix thinks I'm a fool baring this guilt. Trying somehow to atone for what I've done. Maybe he's right. All it's ever caused is pain and more death.
Natalie: It's not true.
Nick: Tracy, Cohen, Schanke.... How many others through the centuries because of what I am?
Natalie: And how many lives you were able to save because of what you are. You've more than made up for what you've done in the past.
Nick: It's not enough. It's never enough. I'm leaving...tonight.
Natalie: Not without me.
Nick: I'm leaving because of you. You don't want my love. It'll only destroy you.
Natalie: There is a way. There is one cure that we haven't tried. Janette became mortal by making love to Robert. Taking just a little at a time.
Nick: It was a lot more complicated than that, Nat.
Natalie: I'm willing to take my chances.
Nick: Well, I'm not. What if I take too much? I'm not willing to live a life of eternal pain.
Natalie: Is it any different than living a life of eternal regret? It-it's partly my choice too, Nick. Does LaCroix ever talk to you about faith?
Nick: In what?
Natalie: In yourself. In an afterlife. I don't know. In a greater being who loves us no matter who we are or what we do.
Nick: Faith is a mortal folly, Nat.
Natalie: His words or yours? You really believe that's true?
Nick: Well. You're a very different person from the last time we meet. A heroine now.
Joan: A heretic they say.
Nick: Well they do have a point. After all, why would God reveal his plans through a farmer's daughter?
Joan: Why did he send his son to us as a carpenter?
Nick: And so you'll die a martyr? Well I'm sure that would please you very much.
Joan: What would please me very much is to be back in Domremy with my family.
Nick: So you are afraid of dying. Life isn't so everlasting now. I can give it to you. A life that never ends. A power beyond your imagination....
Nick: Why throw your life away for the church? For some pious old men who would lie to you. How can you do that?
Joan: If my death is necessary to keep the church strong, so be it. I will live on in the hereafter.
Nick: How can you be so sure your god will be waiting for you on the other side?
Joan: Faith. Pure, simple, faith.
Nick: I'm not sure.
Natalie: Well, I won't accept the sum of our existence can be measured in the few short years we are allowed to live here. It would make everything that we believe meaningless. It would make our whole lives, here, meaningless. I know that that's true and so do you. You have faith, Nick. And if it's a mortal folly, then you're the most mortal man I've ever known.
Nick: You cannot deny what I am.
Natalie: You can't deny what's in your heart.
Nick: What are you saying?
Natalie: I have faith that there is a future for us. Here as we are, or somewhere else. I believe in you. I trust you. Make love to me, Nick. Take just a little at a time.
Nick: I'm afraid of what might happen.
Natalie: Don't be afraid. I'm not afraid of death. Or of an eternity in darkness as long as I can spend it with you. All I have is faith and love. All I'm asking is for you to make love to me. I trust you.
Nick: I won't leave you. Whatever happens, we'll be together.
LaCroix: Well, all that remains now is to turn out the lights and lock the door on our way out. Unless of course, you have decided to add her to our entourage. Oh, Nicholas, you have thought this through, haven't you?
Nick: I couldn't stop myself. I've taken too much.
LaCroix: There she lies at the brink, Nicholas. Her fate is in your hands. Bring her across, or let her die. You must decide.
Nick: LaCroix, is it possible for a vampire to have faith?
LaCroix: This is a strange question at this moment in time.
Nick: Have you ever had faith in anything but yourself?
LaCroix: I've seen too much.
Nick: Then, maybe I haven't seen enough.
LaCroix: After eight hundred years, Nicholas, be done with her! Time heals all. We must move on. You cannot deny what you are.
Nick: I can't condemn her to this darkness.
LaCroix: A wise decision. We even have time for a burial, if you'd like.
(Nick retrieves a wooden staff from by the fireplace.)
Nick: She had faith in me. In what's beyond. That we could have a life together. That this would be a beginning, not an end. I have that faith, too.
LaCroix: Don't be foolish, Nicholas. Life is a gift, as sweet as the freshest peach, as precious as the gilded jewel. I have never understood the logic, in willfully surrendering such a treasure. What is there to gain? How dark can your existence be, when compared to an eternal void. Or do you have faith that there is something beyond. What do you see from where you are? A bright light at the end of the tunnel? Is it a ray of hope? A glimmer of something better? Or will it burn you like the morning sun? Are the sounds you hear the trumpeting of St. Peter's angels, or the screams of Memnoch's tortured souls? You can't answer that. Can you? Because you will never know the answer, till after the deed is done. And is your faith really that strong? And so, in your eyes, I am the devil.
Nick: No, not the devil, LaCroix.
LaCroix: What then?
Nick: You....are my closest friend.
(Nick hands LaCroix the staff, and kneels with Natalie before him.)
LaCroix: Damn You, Nicholas!